Valentine’s Day Guide for the ‘Torpe’

By justine win

Congratulations! You’ve clicked on this article and because of that, you’ve successfully accomplished the first step: Admitting that you are a Torpe.

I’m kind of hesitant to write this guide since I’m uncertain if I was really the right person to salvage you from your Torpe-ness. Mind you, writing this guide doesn’t imply that I’m a ‘Love Guru’, nor am I a ‘Torpe’ myself. Let’s say I was given the opportunity to play the antagonistic role of being the ‘tagapag-Friendzone’.

Friendzoning has never been enjoyable for me (though I knew some who consider it as their hobby) and I promise you I’m not doing it just because I wanted to, but because I’ve got my reasons why I should. Now, this guide will help you overcome that Torpe-ness inside of you. I’m going to tell you the secrets (rather than the guides) on how to successfully (hopefully) ask her out on Valentine’s Day. Ready?

1. Make sure she’s single and available.

Of course, you have to make sure first that you can flirt with her and ask her out. Well, unless if you’re planning to get beaten up by her boyfriend and his gang. I would also like to make things clear: being single and being available are two different things. She could be single, but she might not be available. Reasons why this happen are: a) She’s already waiting for someone; b) She’s going to do something else important on Valentine’s Day with her family or friends; or c) She’s planning to be a nun.

2. Admit that you got strong feelings towards her.

Now that she’s officially single and available, you know you got your chance to swoop in. For you to do this, you have to admit that she’s the girl of your dreams— the girl you want to date so badly. Admit that you like her smile, her eyes, her voice, her wit, her talent— basically everything about her. Now that you’ve admitted that to yourself, don’t you want to tell that to her personally on a date?

3. Your Christmas was cold; don’t let your Valentine’s get colder.

It’s now or never! Many of my friends (well, including me) were complaining that our Christmas was cold figuratively. Now, think of spending Valentine’s alone again, probably curling up in the corner of your bedroom while eating a bag of chips and crying because all of your friends have dates except you. Isn’t that miserable? Your Valentine’s won’t get any colder, so I suggest you slap yourself on the face and shout, “I can do it! I will date her.”, ‘cause you can and you will!

4. Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to confess.

Let us not get all too excited and hopeful because there will always be a chance that she will reject you. But hey, it’s Valentine’s Day and it’s an excuse to get dumped ‘cause it’s the season of love *cough* and rejection. Also, your friends are too busy being lovey-dovey with their respective other halves so I’m sure they’ll be able to forget that you were rejected (just kidding, I’m just trying to cheer you up). Well, my point is, whether she says yes or no, remember that Valentine’s Day is one of those days that asking someone out can be considered “mainstream” and natural. Plus, you can make excuses like, “Hey, I don’t have someone to spend Valentine’s Day with, so I was thinking maybe we could spend it together, minus the pressure.”

5. Drop some clues first.

Please do girls a favor by not dropping the ‘Please date me.’ phrase right away. She might find it shocking, especially if she only sees you as a friend or she might think that you are cheap. A few compliments can signal her that you are planning to ask her out. Be careful though, because you might say the wrong words and she’ll misinterpret it. Worst of all, she might think you are a creep and block you for all eternity (Oh no!). The secret here is to tell nice things about her while being respectful.

Automatically, this doesn’t include telling her how smokin’ hot she is because that only proves you are just planning to get laid on Valentine’s night. You can also ask what her favorite color is, what present she wants to receive or what movie she’s planning to watch. This should give her a major clue that you’re planning to ask her out on Valentine’s Day! Now that she’s got the hint, chances are she’s going to consider dating you.

6. Assess if you’re date-able or not.

Because it’s a date and you’re the one who’s asking her out; naturally you should be able to afford it. Not that I’m saying women are materialistic, but a date on Valentine’s Day is supposed to be expensive (trying to hold my laugh because I plead guilty). Personally, I don’t want a cheap date on Valentine’s Day. Heck, it only happens once a year and the guy has no excuse of treating me with a stick of fishball for dinner or meeting up with me with only his lawas kag katarungan (Editor: “Body and soul”… I think) alone. I would rather stay at home and watch a chick flick marathon, if that’s the case then.

Being date-able doesn’t mean you only have to have money to date her. Personality and attitude also count. Are you a gentleman? Do you dress decently for a date? Do you know her interests? There are so many things you have to consider, but one thing’s for sure: don’t do anything stupid that will make her friendzone or dump you forever.

7. Ask her out.

Now that you sent clues and know you’re date-able, now’s the time to ask her out! You’ve been through a rough self-assessment and there’s no turning back. Gather your guts and ask her, “Will you be my Valentine?” or “Please be my date on Valentine’s Day.” I personally advise men to ask their potential dates this question either personally or via phone call since doing so can make the gesture seem more sincere and serious. Imagine if you asked her via text; either you get a taste of “haha-zoned”, “weh-‘di-nga-zoned”, “joker-ka-talaga-zoned”, “loko-loko-ka-zoned”, or “seenzoned”. Like what I said earlier: even if you get rejected, it’s okay. It’s excusable. At least you tried and that’s an experience! If you weren’t satisfied with her rejection, you can ask her again, but make sure you don’t end up being annoying and pushy. If she said yes, then come here and I’ll give you a high five!

8. Plan for the Big Day.

She said yes. What next? Of course, you have to plan. And by “plan”, it means you have to know exactly what to do. Please don’t ask her where to go or what to do after picking her up ‘cause that’s just a minus point. Plan for it like you’re planning to throw a party for your beloved mom or grandmother.

For instance, know what she likes or plan on how you will surprise her. It doesn’t have to be overly extravagant as long as you put effort into it! You don’t want to disappoint her, so now’s the chance to impress her with your creativity and element of surprise. If you’d ask me, I’d go for a bouquet of roses, a personally handcrafted gift and a simple dinner. Picking her up and/or serenading her is/are also big pluses. Also, you need to be presentable during your date, and that excludes wearing trashy clothes and having a nasty haircut. Lastly, it’s an important thing to know a few things about her like her interests to avoid suffering through an awkward silence during dinner or long walks. We don’t want dead air during dates! Just do your best and who knows? She might end up liking you and consider dating you again.

9. Be a gentleman while staying true.

Women want to be treated well, but they want it to be genuine as possible. No one wants to be treated well just because you’re doing it out of obligation, right? I’ve read so many articles about proper ways of dating and one of the best reads come from Elite Daily. Sensible and sincere men are attractive. Small things like picking her up, carrying her extra bags and walking her home can give the most impact. Be a shameless prince because chivalry is not dead.

10. Congratulate yourself.

Now that you have accomplished everything on this guide and successfully went out on a Valentine’s Day with her, now’s the perfect time to pat yourself on the shoulder and congratulate yourself! You did it. Not only did you overcome your Torpe-ness, you also opened a window of opportunity to dating her again. That date can change your fate in love and a new spark might ignite between you two. Now that calls for a post-Valentine’s celebration!

This ends my Valentine’s Day Guide for the Torpe. I hope you didn’t skip anything because I’ve got a positive feeling this will work for you as long as you considered everything here. Let me know how it turned out on the comments section below. Happy Valentine’s Day!

(Artwork by the author)